Cunning Linguistics

I teach about oral sex all the time, and people seem to want a play guide. Fortunately for us humans, we’re all unique beings with unique experiences and that includes the sensations they enjoy. Sure oral seems easy, put your mouth on someone’s genitals and you lick or suck. But the tongue is a strong versatile part of the body. Some people might lick a gentle flicking while another person might enjoy a tongue thrusting into one of their holes. At the end of the day, no guide will ever be a complete guide to a specific person. These should just be a fun way to try new things and see if your partner enjoys it. It should never be a replacement for communication! Particularly, checking in during the action is the best way to get real time feedback.

But here are some different techniques you can try and see what that persons genitals enjoy.

Wide Flat Tongue

woman licking ice cream

Imagine it’s a hot summer day and you get your favorite flavor of ice cream, you stick out your tongue and take a nice wide lick. This wide flat tongue can feel good licking up and down a vulva, or a shaft of a penis. Long licks, zig zags, or even short laps can work with your tongue like this.

Pointy tongue

The tongue you would stick out in a teasing way is the one you can also give a shot. Try using the tip of your tongue to circle the clit, or lick around the head of the penis, particularly the frenulum or the under part of the head of the penis where it meets the shaft that is a hotbed of nerve endings.

giraffe licking

Try flicking up and down the shaft of a penis, or fluttering your tongue up and down a vulva to get more blood flow going to the most sensitive parts.

Keep it going

Keep consistent tongue technique: If your partner is reacting positively, keep going! You don’t always need to always “switch it up.” Ideally you’re giving people at least 60 seconds of one thing to see how they react to it and if they enjoy it keep it going. There’s always round 2, or tomorrow to try another technique!


Can’t figure out which motion your partner enjoys best? Try spelling coconut if you need some assistance. The letters are mostly circles and zig zags! Try doing clockwise, then counter clockwise and if they’re pushing towards you, keep it up. If they’re pulling away, ease up or try stimulating a different body part for a bit. There’s an entire body to explore!

Firm or soft

Experiment with different shapes and firmnesses of the tongue for licking, from very soft and loose, to tight and firm. The tongue has eight different muscles, which enables you to offer a world of sensations and pleasures. And don’t forget your lips, your can make them firmer or softer depending on what you’re doing.

Wetter is better

Even the wettest mouth can use some help. You can read lube options here. I prefer a natural water based option from sliquid, but there are so many options! Especially if you’re giving oral with a condom, a little silicone lube on the tip of the condom before you roll it down can add more sensation to oral with a barrier. Read more about why lube makes everything better.

Have fun!

As long as you’re having fun and there’s consent, then have fun. I’m well known for this article on Rusty Trombones (Read that here) and I don’t care who knows it. I hope you experience pleasure!