Being mindful and intentional about breath is one of the easiest (and free!) ways to improve the bedroom experience.
It’s also one of the easiest things to overlook. Breathing is something we just do, but when we put conscious effort into it, breath can play a huge part in not just controlling how we deal with stress, but also the sensations that go along with sex and pleasure.
Sometimes, sex can be stressful. But you can’t forget to breathe. It could be stressful for any number of reasons; from the sex itself to outside life stress that can weave it's ways into our sex lives. for real ya'll, stress can kill good sex. With breath, you can awaken sensitive nerve endings and also experiment with different rhythms, patterns, and temperatures with ease.
One of the easiest and most accessible ways to attempt to deal with stress is to pay attention to your breathing. It helps improve cognition, circulation and gives us a boost in energy. And all those factors contribute to quality sex.
Being mindful in general can help in many facets of life.
Mindfulness is simply bringing your awareness to the present moment to find peace and acceptance of your thoughts, physical sensations and feelings.
When you apply mindfulness, meditation and yogic principles to your sex life, things begin to shift in a fantastic way. Combined with prana or “life force energy” flowing through our bodies, our tissues are physically more capable of promoting blood flow to promote sexual arousal and pleasure.
Staying mindful helps us shift our perspective of how we feel, a key part of giving and receiving pleasure, so we can fully embrace the present moment.
Try Deeper Breaths
Holding your breath as you get closer to orgasm is a pretty common instinct. It can happen for a number of reasons. Like, being nervous, or excited, the fear of letting go, or simply as an attempt to muffle your sounds. Since breathing is a subconscious reflex, the way you alter it while exerting yourself can be, too. Just think of how often workout instructors have to remind their classes to breathe. You can be so task focused, you forget to breathe!
A lot of the time, we tend to lean into shallow breathing, particularly when approaching and during orgasm. By doing taking shallow breaths, we’re actually doing ourselves a disservice and cheating ourselves out of a better sexual experience. Deeper breathing can help us achieve deeper, stronger and longer-lasting orgasms. It can also help us feel more connected to our partner in the moment.
If you're breathing more deeply, the sounds you make will sound more like moans and groans than high pitched yelps. Deep breathing, is key to staying calm because it’s linked to the parasympathetic nervous system, the reflex responsible for the “rest and digest” response. While shallow breathing, is more associated with the sympathetic nervous system, the reflex responsible for the “flight or fight” response.
Try Shallow Breathing
Some people’s orgasms respond more to shallow breathing. To see what yours responds to, try speeding up your breath as you feel your orgasm coming on. This breathing pattern creates tension in other parts of the body and can be used in sexual response to make sensations more intense.
Try Breathing Only Through Your Nose
When you breathe only through your nose, it brings in more oxygen than breathing through your mouth, gives you a natural high from the nitric oxide, and engages your core and pelvic floor differently. Just know that it will get decidedly more difficult the as things heat up.
Allow Yourself To Make Noise
I know that making noise in bed can feel kind of silly, especially if you’re not used to it. But you don’t have to imitate porn stars! Actually, you shouldn’t try to imitate anything, or anyone. Simply relax and let whatever sound that comes out, come out.
Most of us muffle or try to control our sexual sounds to reflect what we hear in porn and this can impact orgasmic tension. If were softening our groans and grunts into moans and sighs, the rhythm of our breath becomes unnatural.
This breath-holding impacts blood flow and oxygenation of muscles, which can impede orgasmic response. It also takes the focus away from the sensations and pleasure you're feeling and putting the focus on trying to control your noises.
Try Practicing Alone
Practicing focused breathing on your own can help prepare for a partnered experience. Start by inhaling through your nose and imagine your pelvic floor moving down and away from you. As you exhale, feel it lifting up. Doing this, will help bring your attention to your pelvic floor, and allow you to engage with it more and can also heighten your sensations.
Another solo practice to try is, inhale for a count of seven breaths, then exhale for a count of seven more breaths. After a few rounds, hold for a count of three after you inhale, then exhale again for a count of seven. As you continue practicing, focus on extending your exhales so they're longer than the inhales.
Also, try sending the breath to different parts of the body, imagining it as an internal massage.
Try Syncing Your Breath With Your Partner
This technique can make you feel more connected to your partner. You can simply try to breath at the same time as them, or try this tantra practice: Sit facing each other, look into each other’s eyes, and breathe out through your mouth and in through your nose at the same time for five minutes.
If you're in bed with your partner, try spooning before sex. Feel their breath with your body, and try to adapt to the rhythm of each other's breathing,. Pay attention to the differences in speed and length. Eventually, your breath starts to synchronize, which makes for deeper physical and emotional connection.
Use Breath As Sensation Play
Our breath can serve as a very subtle yet powerful instrument to tease your partner! Lick your lips and breathe onto a sensitive spot on their body to warm it, then move away as you exhale to cool it down. Or, just open your mouth wide and breath warm air onto their nipples or another sensitive body part.
Another technique is to give “breath kisses,” which involve moving your lips as close to your partner’s skin as you can without touching it. This helps build sexual tension and anticipation to your next touch.