Having a love affair with yourself

I write a lot about body confidence, but how can you really take care of yourself the way you need?

Here are some tips to deal with any insecurities head on and become the most confident pleasured person you can be.

​Tips to protecting yourself

  • Not being bothered by harassment will frustrate bullies the most.
  • Sometimes confronting it head on is really satisfying
  • Remember this: “The person there with you in the room – they want to be there.” Don’t question someone’s intentions if they’re sharing pleasure with you. Unless you think they’re using you, just focus on shared pleasure. “To feel better about having sex, you have to have sex.” Notice how confident you are while you’re afterglowing, and bask in that confidence.
  • Take time to touch the parts of your body that you normally want to hide in ways that feel pleasurable. Rub your belly with luxurious oils, rub your thighs with soft feathers, etc etc!
  • Think of a sexy new name, and use it as an alter ego. you don’t have to tell anyone about it, just use it to get yourself into the right state of mind to be sexy and to leave your worries behind and feel like your own Sasha Fierce (Beyonce’s alter ego. Even Beyonce needs one!)

love affair

  • Focus on things you like about your appearance, everyday say one thing you like about yourself. But also acknowledge that you are more than your appearance. 

  • Start a BOPO (Body Positive) bubble- Make a pinterest board, unfollow negative people/thinspo
  • Buy clothes that fit- don’t wait for “ideal” weight
  • Don’t put your life on hold for weight loss
  • Stop Diet talk- politely tell others you would rather talk about other things (including body shaming)
  • Find lingerie that you like, and makes you feel sexy.

love affair

  • Flattering lighting for sexy time.
  • You don’t have to get completely naked for sex. Ultimately do whatever makes you feel comfortable and sexy!
Finding things that make you feel sexy
Things to Do when you’re just feeling Down
  • Nurture yourself- drink tea, take a bath, play with a pet
  • Move- Take a walk, do the dishes, dance, go to a park, reorganize something
  • Get Creative- Doodle, color, start a new project, go to a museum
  • Be spiritual- worship, meditate, etc
  • Engage your brain- Do a crossword, read a book, research something, listen to a podcast!
  • Be social- Call a friend, write a letter, visit a nursing home

love affair

What are some of your tips! It’s a journey for all of us and we’re all allowed to have bad days!